He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
