I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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