I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
