I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
