so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize