I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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