Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
