if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I didn't shave. On purpose
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
