Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
