I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
As shirtless as possible
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
