Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
