There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
