just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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