i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
