If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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