the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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