Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
