Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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