Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
