I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
