i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
