Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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