great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
