I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
