they need to just BURY HIM!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
