plz talk dirty to me
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
