I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
