shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
