Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
