Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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