I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
