Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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