chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
