her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
