Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
