Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
