You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
