how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
