he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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