He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
