my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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