just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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