she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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