its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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