we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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