dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Randomize
