He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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