So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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