That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
