i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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