I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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